parking lots

i hate parking lots. okay, maybe hate is such a strong word for it, let me rephrase it, i don't like parking lots.

maybe it was around after lunch, the cold and dark parking lot at some basement building. i don't really recall what type of cars were there neither do i remember the colors or the numbers of cars being parked. most people were probably back at work already, and as i walked, my weak heart was beating fast, time started to move slow, i was holding my breathe, i was trying not to cry.

me. him, my best friend, my companion, my former love. we we're walking side by side, i wanted to hold his hand, i wanted to forget everything except for how perfect his hand against mine was, how my small hand fits just right for his. but he didn't want to hold my hand anymore. then time went so slowly and i wanted it to end sooner.

we already said our goodbyes a thousand times, but i was still holding on. i asked if i can hug him. even for the last time. i don't remember what his answer was but we hugged. 

i hugged him like as if the world was about to end. i hugged him like there was no tomorrow. i hugged him with every bit that was left of me.

and as our hugs end, my fears started crawling all over me, i wanted to hug him some more but i can't. i remember how round his eyes were. and how he was my world, and that my world with him ended, that there was no more tomorrow. and i ran.

i ran away from him, at the back of my head, he was still standing there, waiting for me to look back. that's what i wanted to imagine cause that's what love stories does, it makes you hope and imagine on happy endings. i ran while tears were falling. i didn't know what to do with those tears, i didn't want to cry. 

it's been over a year. nothing's changed. parking lots still makes me want to scream.

the advantages of being heartbroken.

cry if you want, scream it all out.



most people fear having their heart broken by someone they love. some even consciously avoid being too attached to someone so they wont get disappointed.

PEOPLE!!! being heartbroken isn't that all bad, there's a kazillion good stuff about being heartbroken.

1. when you're heartbroken, you can cry, and after you cry, your eyes looks puffy yet awesome!!

2. you can be mad(scream at people, hit them, punch them, voodoo them) at anyone you like since you're hurt.

3. you can eat whatever you like without worrying about getting fat, since you're too heart broken to thinks (ice cream and chocolates taste better when your heartbroken)

4. you can sleep all day long or just stay somewhere quiet and alone, thus you can save money.

5. once you're done crying, you can go out and drink til you drop, flirt with anyone without holding back, stay out as long as you want, and you dont have to worry about someone waiting for you, need not to ask anyone for permission.

6. SHOPPING!! you can go shopping, buy everything you like to make you feel good(intended for the rich and those with credit cards only)

7. you'll look terrible for a couple of days, but as soon as you start to clean your self up, people will immediately tell you that you look good!

8. every song you listen too feels like it's talking to you!

9. for people who hoard, when you're heart broken, you can throw all those old useless stuff away!

10. people will be more careful with what they say at you(refer to reason number 2.)



isn't it fun?

da.... da.... dee... dum.

something that smells and someone that smells.

ugh.
an awesome low fat carrot cake and a chocolate chip drink is the perfect snack for me while enjoying free wifi access here in cebu. but unfortunately, a few minutes ago, someone just passed by with something that was really unpleasant. no, i'm not this keen to notice these kind of things at people, but damn it, this guy has a strong musky scent and his companion smells like someone who plunged in a pool of isopropyl alcohol! i dunno what they are thinking but they keep on passing by the fan and they surely are contaminating the air here! ugh!!

how should i tell me??? i mean, they are strangers!! but its so distracting!!!!


da.... da.... dee... dum.

strength

today, i learned that

strength

is the longest word with only just one vowel. i hope 2010 will teach me to be stronger.

da.. da... dee.... dum.

some feel good song.

you can't hurry love, you just have to wait.

happy 2010!

Happy NEW YEAR!!

it's 2010! hope you still have 10 fingers.

but i'm glad that it was raining when the clock striked 12. since twas raining, firecrackers that would really explode, and less smoke.

yey!

spy training?

i had a talk with my cousin from new york. i miss them... they miss Philippines a lot. i wish i could show them what cebu looks like now.

i, on the other hand, want to try a holiday in new york, unfortunately, Philippines needs me. just kidding. i dont have the money to go there, so they tried to cheer me up by showing me a live video from new york that i can access anytime. they told me to keep on checking that site, i might see them one of these days.. i'm thinking of checking it out on new year's eve.

here's a sample of a shot that i got.

http://www.camvista.com/usa/ec/newyork.php3